Children are precious gifts from God, and they are the ones who take over from their parents later in life.
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Note, whatever legacy a child inherits from you; be it good or bad, he will pass it on to his immediate environment and the world at large.
So, as a parent, if you must contribute to grooming the next generation that will do great exploits and build the nation, be careful never to do the following to him.
1. Never use abuse/cursed language on him
Note, while the word ‘abuse’ and ‘curse’ are words with different meanings, they both help to diminish or demoralize a child’s character.
An abuse is a way of passing an insult on someone, using a member or part of his body. For example, when you tell a child, “Your head is as big as…, You’ve got a disgusting eyeball…” it’s abuse. Such bad words can make a child dislike himself and you, his parents, even when he has become an adult.
The word ‘curse’, is an evil pronouncement on someone. So, whenever you tell a child, “You’re stupid, you will never make it in life”, etc, what you’re doing is cursing the child.
Do you realize that both the Bible and Quran frown at using curse words? Even, in tradition, there are beliefs that curses can be fulfilled on an individual that they are being pronounced.
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2. Never be too strict on him
Although, in Africa, it is a tradition to bring up a child, using a strict method. While there may be a good side to this, the bad side of a child raised with too much of strictness or harshness is as follow:
(i) Loss of confidence – inability to express self well in public
(ii) inferiority complexity or Low self-esteem
(iii) Unnecessary fear and anxiety
(iv) Can lead a child to make rash decisions, such as joining cults etc.
(v) It can create hatred in the heart of such a child for the parents and people around him.
3. Never use threatening words on him
For example, you have often heard some parents saying, “If you write your assignment, I will kîll you, I will break your head, etc.
Note, although you may call these words empty threats or exaggerations, they have a resultant effect on such a child. A child can usually get terrified by such words, thereby making him misbehave in what he’s being given to do.
On another note, a child can also grow up to start using such words.
4. Never promise him what you won’t do
Children trust their parents majorly in every aspect of their lives, however, if you’re not going to fulfil certain wishes, never promise them to a child. If this happens, he will begin to lose his trust in you, and will never believe you even when you’re 100% certain you will do what you said.
5. Never tell him a lie
A lie is a lie, no small part of it. If you’re going to be a good role model to your child you should never tell him a lie. Remember, children learn best from copying whoever they see as their role model.
In summary, take time to explain to him why you’re carrying certain actions on him. For example, explain the reason why you punish or spank a child otherwise, he sees you as being wicked for punishing or scolding him.